Adoption Chose Me

Notes from our first month together…

I remember saying when I was younger that I would adopt because there were so many children who needed homes.  I am not sure if I was so conscious of the fact that it was a plan I intended to set in motion or it I was just stating an obvious fact.  No, I’m sure it was just stating an obvious fact.  I had no actual plan to adopt.  It was more or less something that seemed like a good idea because it was a solution to a very prevalent problem.  As I sit her looking at my beautiful sleeping boy, I almost cannot believe he is truly here with me.  He is moving ever so slightly.  Something I check to make sure he is doing at least twenty times a night.  If he is too still, I gently graze his finger to elicit a response.  It is silly but reassuring.

He has a marvelous story of how he came to be.  One I will tell some other time. It is a story of overcoming and survival.  I can say it is nothing short of a miracle.  An act of God.  When I trace his steps, I marvel at God’s works.  It was meant to be and His choice for me and Isaiah the entire time.  My miracle baby Just when I had given up hope he came into my life.  I was aghast as you can imagine. Middle forties, single, certainly not expecting a son.  The long and short of it is he needed a Mama and I so desperately wanted a child of my own.  God brought us together for such a time as this.  I’m not sure of all that means at the moment. I am sure of one thing, had Isaiah or any other child come into my life before now I would not be the mother I am today. 

I so appreciate his every little breath and sigh.  His smiles are like little bursts of joy in my day.  He makes me laugh harder than the funniest of jokes.  It is such a joy to see how his little body is learning to function.  Every fart makes me giggle.  The current cuteness will one day be frowned upon but for now every sneeze and burp have meaning.  I cherish each one as a major happening.  I wanted this for so long and had given up hope while I was waiting.  I thank God for remembering me and sending this little bundle of bliss into my life.  I anticipate his first words, first steps, first tooth…you know, all the wonderful firsts.

I cannot wait to hear his voice.  His real voice.  I want to get to know him, not just what he does to indicate hunger or thirst, or when he is wet.  I mean really get to know him.  What kind of boy will he be – rugged or gentle, sporty, or artsy, loud and raucous or quiet and kind?  I truly can’t wait but I will and hopefully not miss any of these milestones.  For now, as I watch his chest rise and fall, I remain grateful every day that he is here with me.